Up to pussy's bow

I've just about had enough. No, I won't do anything stupid but I'm almost at breaking point. I'm tired, I'm sick, I'm mostly alone and scared shitless I'll end up a gaga old lady in a nasty home as there is no-one to look after me. No kids, no husband, no job. I keep trying to think about the fact I'm a damn sight better off than many other people - I have a home and some income - but some days it's means jack shit. I'm tired of being tired, I'm tired of being a fat lump who is too tired to do much. I'm tired of being sick, I'm tired of being poor and I'm a damn sight tired of being alone. Yes, I have friends but feel deserted by many of them at present. If one more person had told me how sick they had been with the virus and that their cough lasted weeks and weeks, I swear I'd be done for murder. It's like the stupid things people say when your husband dies. Just help out or include me now and again. Being lonely sucks. Being poor sucks - means I can't install the green items that would save me money in the end - tanks, solar panels and such. Another financial crisis looks to be looming and here I am with very few marketable skills anymore - it's been 4 years since I worked in an office. Nobody really wants an over 50's women as an employee - I know. I figure I should just delete this post as it's a whinge but I'll wait a while and see if I push the post button...

Observation

Once in a while in life, there is someone you know and really don't want to be friends with them. They are very nice people and you can't put your finger on why you don't want to be friends with them but you don't. You just stay out of their way if you can and smile and nod if they do talk to you. I used to wonder if this made me a bad person, but well, it doesn't. Not everyone can like everyone.

There is a lady at the op-shop I work at on Fridays. I don't really like her so I just do my job and stay out of her way. I had to question a price with her today and she seemed very offended. Okay both the customer and I thought the price was a bit high but I was told in no uncertain terms that prices were as given and not to question them. Okay, I'm fine with that, I did ask away from the customer. I had to try not to laugh though as she spoke to me like a naughty 6 year old. I knew her social skills were poor but I didn't realise how poor! Then she tells me not to speak to the lady serving at the counter. The funny thing was that she told me as she was passing through the room without stopping! Hey lady, your problem not mine - I just have stop myself laughing out loud. Maybe I am a bad person after all...