The straw has broken on the camel's back

I have to leave this stupid job as soon as possible. No more just thinking I have time and I can wait it out. Any organization that refers to its support service as a "Business unit" has to be gotten away from in a big hurry. I joined the Cancer Council to make a difference and my ethics are now being sorely tested. It isn't possible to put a price tag on good service, empathy, listening or pride in your job. The heart has been pulled out of the library and I am not going to wait around for the corpse to stop twitching. I will be applying for anything I can from now on and hope to be out of here in a month. I don't like to leave the people who appreciate the service in the lurch but the management here has made it impossible to for me to continue working here and still uphold my values. My job is actually making me sick - I've my second cold in a month, I'm anemic, need Vitamin B12 shots and my sugar levels are a bit suspect. I will not be a candidate for diabetes.

KRin has reasons to be cheerful

It is very easy to whinge and moan. It is harder to look for good aspects of life.
1. I'm not dead yet!
2. I am walking better then I was 12 months ago. I'll never run a marathon but then I never would anyway.
3. I can afford to feed and clothe myself.
4. I have a pet who loves me.
5. I have a house that is warm and dry.
6. I have friends who care for me.
7. I can afford a few luxuries in life but then I don't want much either.
8. I do have some family - annoying as they are.
9. I still have a job for a while.
10. I have Ian's artwork to promote.

KRin and stuff

Good and bad...head cold almost gone, had a great day last Friday and walked the most I have ever walked - according to my pedometer. Went to a fannish event on Sunday afternoon - was quite shocked to see someone I knew in the past had last about half has body weight and is waiting for a lung transplant. Good thing is that the Melbourne Science Fiction Club wants to do an event for the 10th anniversary of Ian's passing - will have to get cartoons scanned and copied by November.

People next door sold their house about 3 months back and never spoke to me from the day the house was sold. Walked past their place Monday night and they were gone! Not a word was said and they have a set of my house keys. I didn't do anything to upset them - honest! I suppose people go a little funny with the stress at this time. Moving is hell.

Melbourne has had more rain, nice but not enough. Winter like it was maybe 10 years back, people have forgotten how cold it gets...

KRin has a head cold

Most people when they are sick would takeit easy. Not me. I have the Melbourne head cold - have lost my voice and have the most annoying cough. Also have the runs today just for variety. I'm not sleeping well. So, what did I decide to do? Resdesign my main bedroom wardrobe. There has been a shelf sitting at eye level since we moved in 1989, just in the right place to smack you head when you lean in to get clothes out. On Monday night after all these years, I took a hammer and dismantled the damn thing.

Points to note: 1. The only thing holding the shelf up was an upright of wood about 3/4 of the way along the shelf. 2. The shelf was built out of the nastiest wood I have ever seen. 3. I've never seen nails like the ones the builder used. 4. The last bit of nasty beige carpet has gone.

I was going to reuse the wood to redesign the storage unit but it was so awful I elected instead to get some half price stick down tiles for the floor and found a hald price metal unit to put in instead. For something that feels quite flimsy it is working quite well (I'm about half done). I have also discovered that the wardrobe is narrower than it should be for a wardrobe.

Stuff/Life and such

It's cold for Melbourne. I have the Melbourne cold - thank you to who ever gave it to me. Mir is bored, she keeps coming in and out through the window behind me, attacking my sewing or the plant near the window. Job is still uncertain - just wait and see I suppose. I'm going to have a couple of days off in the next week - I'm enjoying the sleeping in.

KRin's rather obvious advice

Don't eat have a box of tiny iced doughnuts and not expect to feel sick!

Burp.

KRin has to think about her future

I feel my job is going at the end of the year. No, there isn't any definate proof as yet as the library review is still being undertaken but I feel the writing is on the wall in big letters. So, do I stay and wait for the job to disappear or do I go? There hasn't been a great number of jobs I could apply for - I do keep any eye out. I can't stand for long periods of time so maybe working in a cafe is out. Yes, I can stil be a library technician but the field is small.

I will have to put aside some money - so goodbye to my holiday money and hello to emergency money. I will cut back on eating out - no more buying lunch on Tuesdays before I start work at the op-shop. No more taking vitamins - when the current lot run out that will be it and I will see if they were actually doing anything! Finishing the floor in the kitchen and the tiling in the bathroom will both go on hold. Also the paving down the side of the house will go on hold as well.

I felt myself wondering yesterday if it would have been better if I had gotten cancer rather than Ian. He would have contributed more to the world than I ever could. Morbid but true when you think about it realistically.